Only one thing comes to mind when I think about what I am going to write, change. No, not Obama change. Change in my life recently. The last two years for me have been like a very long rollercoaster ride. Let me recap real fast, 2 August ago, I moved here to Kentucky, not by choice. 6 months later met Trevor whom to me was just an older guy who I was going to date my senior year... 3 months after to my surprise I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.
To my family and I this was a huge shock, mostly to my mother, since her older sister has it and its a sore subject in our family. But guess what, I have it and I've had to get over it. Yes I threw myself a pity party, but didn't last long, my mom didn't let it. 3 months after that, again to my surprise, I graduated High School. Whoo hoo! Not really, I thought crap what now. I didn't know what was to come... or how fast it was all going to happen.
My mom took me to Spain for the summer, oh how much I missed the US, or so I thought at that point. In a way I think my moms instinct told her to spend time with me, because I was going to spread my wings and fly a lot sooner than she thought. I've always craved to be independent and to be on my own, or I thought I did. That August after I got back I moved from my mom's house to Springfield, Ky, where Trevor lived. Against my mothers will of course, I thought I was ready. Got a job, a car, and apartment, and was in love. Everything I wanted eh?
6 months after I moved, Trevor and I decided to get married. No, this wasnt something I had planned. But at this point the word marriage just had a stable homey feel to it, I wanted that. I was on a roll already right? Why stop now?..... A month after we got married, Trevor and I found out we were expecting. Was I scared? again no. I was getting everything I knew I always wanted, a little quicker than I had planned. Everything happening so quickly was a bad thing. It made me believe things happen when you want them.
A month after I found out I was pregnant I lost my " great" job. The one thing that made me feel safe was my job. I had been able to do everything I wanted because I had a good job and didn't have anything to worry about. Not anymore, things stopped happening in the blink of an eye, I had to learn patience. Still learning...... Now where does chameleon play into this? Well, I feel like in the last two years all my shades have been exposed at once.
- Zoe 2011
I've had to adjust over and over again. Yes some by choice, but some just because " stuff happens"..... That is why I started this blog. So I can track my journey from now on. Had I blogged the past two years, well I would have a book by now. Now that I have time and am aware of what is going on around me. I want to share my thoughts....
Plus, waiting for this baby, actually waiting for something is driving me crazy.... I need to vent.
lalalala
