Monday, January 26, 2015

La La La.... Just a thought

It's been a while since I wrote.. But I have something bugging me that I need to get out. So here goes nothing.... 

As a young parent I have always second guessed myself since I got pregnant. For example: " the baby will sleep in the crib.. no in a bassinet... no in a play pin" ( Jolene slept in my bed until she was 6 months). But that's not all, even my labor was planned in my head with bits and pieces of what every " seasoned" mom recommended. That being said nothing went like everyone had told me and it snowballed into postpartum depression. Why? BECAUSE nothing went according to what I had been told for the last 9 months. I was crushed. 

Now that I have had Jolene I always feel like an idiot when I have an opinion about children because there is always that mom that says " well Ive had 4 kids and they all blah blah blah"... This can be so hard on a new/young mom. Every child is different, Jolene has been NOTHING like what people said she would be. Examples: 
" You will never sleep"...... I sleep all the time. 
" She will hate her crib and never use it" ......... Jolene has slept in her crib since the first time we put her in it. " You will have to rock her to sleep and sooth her with these 100 techniques".... I have never rocked Jolene to sleep... EVER. I put her in bed and she goes to sleep. 

I could go on and on forever with things that people warned me about that have never happened. They install this fear of all the horrible things that can happen. But in reality how often do these things really happen? 

I have had an AHA moment. As I sat there with Jolene being sick for the first time all I could think of was.... don't call anyone.... Why? Because Jolene needs me there dealing with what is happening not thinking of what could happen. Yes you need to be careful but just because Jane Doe's kid had a worm in its stomach instead of the flu it doesn't mean that is what Jolene has. 

I like to think I am pretty good at this parenting thing. My kid is healthy ( except for this stupid stomach bug), she is smart, and she is happy. So who cares what Patsy did with her kids 20 years ago? I advise new or expecting moms not to take what they hear so seriously. It can make you depressed and hold you back. If you know what kind of mom you want to be then do it. Don't let other dictate with their opinions. I always think when older moms give me advise " Geez... and your kids turned out like that? YIKES. * mental note* don't do that!!!" hah! Its funny but its true. Took me 2 years to realize this. Hope it can help some new moms relax a little. 

La la la.. I am out y'all. Peace.

Monday, September 8, 2014

La la la... We're moving... AGAIN.

Yes... you heard it right, we are moving yet again. Its been a long year... A long year of deciding and experimenting and we are done with it. The conclusion of this experiment is.... we love Kentucky.  I felt it the second I left but because it was such a big move I ignored it... well I can't contain it anymore... I. LOVE. KENTUCKY.

Almost a year ago we made a rather abrupt move to Ohio. We were in a situation where I needed to work, but I wasn't ready to put Jolene in a daycare. Therefore when my mother in-law ( Trevor's mom) offered to watch Jolene so I could work, I packed my bags and we headed north. We moved in with my in-laws and decided to get jobs, save money, and be happy! That was the plan... But things never go according to plan.

Here is a few things I have learned  this year:

1. Living with family is NOT easy; once you become your own family you develop a way of life. Even if you have very similar beliefs and views, no two families are the same.
2. Just because you move to a city that has a lot of job opportunities doesn't mean that you are going to find a job easy. All that means is more competition and stress.
3. " Mo' money mo' problems"
4. If you already have it in your head that you can't have someone else take care of your child, even having a family member watch them doesn't ease the anxiety. I simply can't be away from Jolene. I am a CNA and I can't sit there and take care of someone else when I could be caring for my child.
5.  There is no such thing as security. All you can do is the best for your family at that time. If things change then you change. I want my child to say "my mom was there" not " my mom got me everything I wanted".

There are more things I learned and maybe one day I will feel the need to share them. But for now this is as much as I can get out right now without completely going into too much detail.

So! We have decided to go back to Kentucky, where we originally lived. Where we have all our family and friends. Where we can live in the country and be comfortable. Where we don't have to put Jolene in daycare or leave her with anyone. We are going back to square one. There is a lot of changes to come! Lots of changes! Hopefully being out in the country will give me more time to sit and blog. Best way for me to channel my thoughts....

Lalala.... stay tuned for the new adventure!

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Its been a while...

I know I know... Ive been gone FOREVER... It hasn't been an easy year. Its been a good year, just not an easy one. The major thing that has happened is that we moved to Columbus, Ohio. We moved here to live with Mr. Millions mom and stepdad. We wanted to try something new and see if maybe moving was the best thing for our family. New city, new people, new jobs. So far it definitely has been a learning experience. I think that mostly what we have learned is..... Who cares about money? You need family.
This past year I have gotten more in touch with photography and have a lot I want to share with friends. Hopefully we can teach eachother how to be better photographers! I have a lot of ideas for Jolene. You might get a picture overload soon.
We are still working on my weight loss. I would love to keep hearing about your ideas and experiences with loosing weight. I have taken a few steps back with my weight BUT just recently took some steps in getting it back under control.
I am still here and I still want to hear about you. Please feel free to share anything you want me to post and share with my readers. I would be happy to.
I miss writing, I am back for good.
Lalala.... Im back baby

Monday, September 16, 2013

I "sit" For ME!

Kate and I freezing but cheesin!
 What a FUN morning. 
So I found out about the walk last minute. I have been trying to volunteer for a walk, but seems like every time one comes around its too hot or something comes up last minute. I was very excited to see it was supposed to be 60 degrees !!! I couldn't wait. But as the day approached the weather channel predicted it to be 40 degrees!! Oh I was so excited about this. I picked out my outfit the night before like a little kid going on a field trip the next day. My BFF Kate joined me ( her mom has MS too) she had DOUBLE the reason to be there.  I woke up at 6:30 AM and headed that way. 

I got there early and Kate followed shortly after. I had gotten a coffee ( an iced coffee on a 40 degree morning), I put it on the ground, then I unfolded a table right on top of it! AHH Bye bye coffee. Thankfully Kate showed up with the same coffee ( it was hers, but whats hers is mine right?). 

I sat there doing registration with Kate, I tried to stay as busy as I could, and not look up much. Since I could see women in wheel chairs and people with a small limp even a bling woman came up to the table. It was a hard thing to ignore... I couldn't help but to sit there and let my brain start running and imagine the worst. But then I looked over and saw my friend there, FOR ME. And met some people that within 5 minutes of meeting me, told me that they are going to help me with my MS and are there if I need anything. HOW FREAKING AWESOME IS THAT? No wait, let me answer. Pretty awesome. I then came home to my daughter who just brightened my day and makes me want to KEEP walking and KEEP going. Because I need to... 

All in all it was a great day! And now I have a new DR closer to home, who hopefully will be able to help me in my journey to stay healthy. 

lalala doing it all over again next saturday.

Sippin The Pink Drank

30 days on Plexus Slim 
30 Days.
So now Ive finished my 30 days on Plexus. Seems like it went by quick. 
When I did my half way post I had only lost 4 lbs. And I am not going to lie I was a little disappointed. I mean my stomach didnt shrink like the pictures I had seen and I didnt look like Megan Fox.... HAH! Well there was a few other differences. For one, I wasnt binge eating anymore. The accelerator pills really put a HUGE halt on my hunger. I still would snack here and there, but I wasnt hungry for full meals. Second my energy was AHHHMAZING. I normally have to push myself to even do dishes ( WHO DOESNT) but seriously, I am like a little snail, around the house. Not with Plexus, I was on top of my game. 

It helped me at the gym too, I had the energy to go in the evenings. I would get excited to go and wanted to. My Zumba teacher works our butts and I was able to keep up!!! Half way through, about the time I did my half way weight gain, I started to have MS symptoms again. Aside from the normal headaches, I got numb on my right side. I was a little sad because I knew what this meant. STEROIDS. Which means, weight GAIN. I was all well there goes that. I put it off as long as I could. But then I took them. 
30 days on Plexus

From feeling so crummy and other stuff, I didn't go to the gym for a little just because I didn't have the energy. And I KNEW that I was going to gain weight.. the little progress I had made was going to go bye bye. Well, I went to the gym Friday...... AND I LOST 4 MORE LBS!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you Plexus!! I thank plexus because normally I gain tons of weight when I do a steroid treatment. And I was very happy to find out that not only I didn't gain, but I lost!! 

Total of 8 lbs. I am very happy with that. Considering I didn't go to the gym for the last days and I didn't drastically change my diet.

Lalala my weight loss journey int over yet!

Thursday, August 29, 2013

2 Weeks On The Pink Drink

Can you see a difference?! I can!

SO! Its been two weeks of me drinking Plexus slim and taking the accelerator pills along with it. Here is what I have learned so far! About the drink itself, it taste like Crystal Light. I learned quickly to mix it in a bigger bottle ( than just a water bottle) because it clumps up and then you have to shake shake shake!!! So I bought a pink bottle ;) and that is where I mix it. 

I took the accelerator pills, but I started out with just one. The recommended amount is 2 every day. Because I am not big on caffeine I started out with just 1 so that I could get a feel for it. And after a few days I built up to taking two. I am not going to lie the first 2 days of taking 2, I got a little jittery and was very energetic BUT it was great! I have had the energy to do normal every day things. LIKE Ive kept my house clean. Normally I clean but slowly through the week and just make my way around. This pink drink has helped me keep a normal energy level the past 2 weeks. No dragging around and taking 2 naps every day.

I didn't see the scale magically drop 10 lbs after the first week ( how realistic right??). After weighing in I have lost 4 lbs. 2 weeks 4 lbs, its not bad. Its better than where I was. I was stuck!! I couldn't get past that 180 BUMP. And now I finally at 178! Its not 150 with a flat tummy, but I am headed in the right direction, right? My shorts at the gym are getting looser ( I know because during stretching in Zumba my but crack was showing. I had to keep pulling my pants up!). I am very excited to see what comes in the next 2 weeks!!! Stay tuned amigos!

La la la... I cant wait to share the final results with you all!!! ;)

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Teen Mom Yet Another Season???

Picture I posted when my eggo was preggo
Okay so I am one of those people that watches teen mom, just to point and talk bad about it. But LESSSBEEEHONEST who doesn't? When I saw they were making another season I was like seriously? How many more teen moms can they find? But then again there are girls out there getting pregnant just to audition for 16 and pregnant. Google it. 

Last season they aired, I was pregnant, and thats what inspired me to post this picture on my Facebook and Instagram. Everyone loved it. Some didn't, but I don't care. I wanted to make a statement. Because every prenatal visit, everywhere I went where I had to share I was born in 1993, the looks I got. Like I was already a horrible mother. A "typical teen mom". I hated it. These older women that are past 35 pregnant giving me dirty looks, bish please. You are taking so many risks getting pregnant so old. Dont make me whip out that card. Because its in my back pocket. 

Now that I have been a mom 8 months. And their new season is out. I watched it, with a whole new set of eyes. As a mother. Here is what bothered me, they make their every day life seem like such a burden and a hassle. BUT the second you become a mother, its not a hassle or burden. Its what you WANT to do because you love your child. In the episode one of the girls tells the guy " no you hold her, I hold her every day all the time". WHAT THE HELL! You are her mother, you should want to hold her every second, of every day. 

This is what people watch though. Then when they hear me, 1993, they automatically assimilate me with those girls. And assume that I got married because I was knocked up. Or feel bad for my child having a young mom. PUHLEASE. I have seen horrible mothers out there and they are 25+ with jobs and husbands. Ive also seen even older moms with money and everything, yet they ignore their child. I am here with my child every second of the day. And I don't say " Im sick of holding her". Teen mothers shouldn't be judged because of the image these girls have created. That is THEM. That is not me or my friends who have chosen to marry young and have children young. On the contrary I will be able to run around with my kid. And keep up with them because of my age. 

Thats my thought about Teen Mom. But then again I am hooked to watch it. This new season didn't "hook" me as much. My "mom" eyes just see it completely different than I used to. I just feel sorry for them now. 

Lalala... I was technically only a teen mom for 14 days. I turned 20. But still.